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Ultra-Processed Foods Are Great?!

The killjoys are on the march again. Ultra-processed is next to Godliness.

Big Food

Seems like you can’t read an article anywhere without being told that the reason that so many of us are obese or big is because we eat too much ultra-processed food. That’s got me to thinking and even, ultraly ruminating.

Is a nicely turned steak with a carefully and exquisitely made sauce ultra-processed? If I make my kids a small portion of hot-dog bits, with some stewed fruit and ice-cream, is that UP too? If for good measure they go out for a game of basketball, is that all part of an evil UP experience? Is a meal comprising small portions of highly manufactured foods necessarily unhealthy if I walk to school every day?

Many – most, all? – modern drugs are ultra-processed, aren’t they? Is a procedure for cancer ultra-processed? I would imagine so. Come to think of it, is contemporary medical education ultra-processed, in an effort to ensure doctors and health personnel pass their exams and become effective and careful medical practitioners?


Our military uses numerous types of machines and weapons that we would all agree are ultra-processed. I would hope so. so that we don’t all end up becoming Russian citizens. Do we all agree that this nose-bleeding degree of military complexity and processing is a good or a bad thing?

Or would we prefer to have vastly simpler weapons that guarantee us involuntarily becoming unwilling citizens of the modern Ivan the Great’s new and improved Russian Federation? Which, by the bye, is also ultra-processed, just not as much as our’s is.

Modern science is dependent on a degree of ultra-processing that enables us to see to the edge of the universe and beyond. If we want to see that far, is there any other credible means of achieving such a vision? Could we achieve these modern miracles without an ultra-processed James Webb telescope?

The Ultimate LLM

Come to think of it, modern science is based on theories which are anything but unprocessed. Could we do what we do with them without their beyond-extreme levels of complexity and sophistication? Is an ultra-processed intellect such as those possessed by the likes of Albert Einstein or the inventors of CRISPR bad things that will lead to us becoming obese, getting diabetes, or finding out about what unnecessary things are out there the world we live in?

We’re bang smack in the middle of the new entrants into the AI wars. These are based on the so-called LLMs – large-language models – processed, naturally, to the nth degree. Soon that level of ultra-processing will have advanced by multiple orders of magnitude that will make these retro-LLMs look like plain old-fashioned non-UP fish and chips.

Will we reject their benefits because they are too processed, complex, unnecessarily opaque? I doubt it. Ultra-Large Language Models are clearly the coming Next Big Thing.

The Gospel According to UP Language Models

In religion we now have the neo-Evangelicals and the doctrines there are also ultra-processed. Maybe for the better, but maybe not. In ethics we are going ultra too.

We can’t stop the trend of everything becoming ultra-processed. Generally, it’s a good thing, even in food, as long as have it in small portions, albeit ultra-you-know-what. Maybe we need to do our religion and ethics in small portions too to steer clear of too much obfuscation and cant.

Eat your ultra-processed goodies in small portions. That is the unnecessarily simple lesson here.


Everything is getting more ultra. But we can cut it all down to size if we really care.

Cut your ultra to the size of the cloth.



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